This Ruins Most Work Relationships

You're probably wrong - and don't know it...

Author

Justin Mecham
May 03, 2025

Hey Full Potential Zoners!

You think you know— but what if you're wrong?

Assumptions hurt trust.

And they break teams apart.

An assumption is when we guess - without facts, without asking questions, without knowing the full story

It feels faster than asking - but it creates big problems.

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Every time you check your thinking - you make trust stronger.

Every time you assume - you take a risk with trust.

What you think you know isn’t always true.

Facts don’t speak for themselves—people do.

Understanding begins when you choose to listen.

Today we are going to help leaders master this by using:

‘The Danger of Assumptions - Stop Assuming, Start Understanding'. 

Let’s dive in!

Download This PDF + my Top 60+ Cheat Sheets At Bottom of Email

Everyday Traps That Lead to the Wrong Story

1. Skipped the Meeting—Now What?

Scenario: Your manager replies curtly to your message.

  • Observe the Facts:

    • Stick to what happened.

    • They sent a short reply.

  • Add Meaning Carefully:

    • Don’t decide they’re upset without more signs.

  • Ask Instead of Assuming:

    • Send a simple follow-up or check if they’re busy.

  • Take Smarter Action:

    • Clarify your next step instead of overthinking the last one.

2. Missed the Deadline—Again

Scenario: A teammate misses a deliverable you needed.

  • Avoid Jumping to Conclusions:

    • They may be overwhelmed, not careless.

  • Ask What Happened:

    • Start with curiosity, not blame.

  • Set Clear Expectations:

    • Confirm deadlines and ask if they need help staying on track.

  • Fix the Pattern, Not Just the Task:

    • Build shared check-ins to prevent repeat issues.

3. You Weren’t Invited

Scenario: A meeting or group chat happens—without you.

  • Pause the Story:

    • Don’t assume it was personal.

  • Gather Info First:

    • Ask if you missed something or if it’s a standing meeting.

  • Check Future Access:

    • Say, “Should I be part of this going forward?”

  • Avoid Isolation Loops:

    • When left out, reenter with clarity—not frustration.

4. Your Idea Got Shut Down

Scenario: You shared an idea and got zero support.

  • Don’t Personalize Reactions:

    • The room was silent—but it doesn’t mean rejection.

  • Look at Timing and Framing:

    • Was it too complex? Was the group rushed?

  • Get Feedback Fast:

    • Ask one person you trust what they thought.

  • Build Forward:

    • Try again in a better moment with a refined version.

5. Camera’s Off, But Are They?

Scenario: A teammate keeps their camera off on every call.

  • Drop the Judgment:

    • Camera off doesn’t mean checked out.

  • Stay Curious:

    • Ask privately if they’re comfortable on video or if anything’s going on.

  • Focus on Value, Not Visibility:

    • If they contribute well, that’s what counts.

  • Keep the Door Open:

    • Don’t build stories in silence—build trust through conversation.

6. You Can Feel the Tension

Scenario: Something’s off with a peer—but you’re unsure why.

  • Don’t Guess Motives:

    • Maybe they’re dealing with something that isn’t about you.

  • Call It In, Not Out:

    • Try: “You seem quiet lately—everything okay?”

  • Focus on the Relationship:

    • Ask how things are going between you—not just about work.

  • Stay Flexible:

    • Even if they don’t open up now, you’ve shown leadership by trying.

Where Do You Get Stuck on the Ladder of Inference?

Take 10 seconds to pick the step where you (or your team) tend to leap too quickly.

Login or Subscribe to participate in polls.

Click Here to see how to fix each one!

Daily Challenge

  1. Choose one step you want to get better at:

    • Observing Facts

    • Selecting Data

    • Adding Meaning

    • Making Assumptions

    • Drawing Conclusions

    • Adopting Beliefs

    • Taking Action

  2. Here’s your challenge for the day:

  3. Write down a moment today where you caught your mind jumping ahead.

  4. It could be during a meeting, in a message, or after hearing something unexpected.

  5. Then answer this:

    • “What step on the ladder did I just use—without thinking?”

  6. Next to it, write what you could do differently next time.

  7. It only takes 2 minutes—and it trains your mind to slow down before you act.

  8. AI Prompt to use: “You're a thinking partner helping me notice how I make fast assumptions. I’m going to describe a real moment from my day. Help me figure out what step on the Ladder of Inference I used too quickly—and what I should slow down and do instead. Then suggest one sentence I could say or think next time to pause and rethink it.”

You can use this video for more useful tips. (Click Here to See It)

The stories you tell yourself shape the choices you make.

Every assumption is a shortcut that can take you the wrong way.

When you slow down to check what’s real, you protect your relationships and your results.

Real understanding doesn’t happen by accident—it happens on purpose.

Every moment of understanding makes the next decision stronger.

Today’s pause could change the way you lead tomorrow.

Until next time and with lots of love,

Justin

How I Knew I Needed to Stop Assuming

I caught myself feeling distant from a colleague —and I was sure it was their fault.

The more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself I knew the whole story.

But when I finally asked, I realized I had it all wrong.

💡 One Tip to Lead Better

Always ask before you assume.

Before reacting to someone’s words, silence, or actions, ask a simple clarifying question.

Example: "Hey, I noticed [insert behavior]. Is there anything going on I should know about?"

This small move shifts you from jumping to conclusions to opening real conversations.

It builds trust faster than almost anything else—and protects your leadership decisions from being based on false stories.

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🧠 Quote + Thought for the Week

"The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply." — Stephen R. Covey

Every time you rush to respond, you miss a chance to really understand.

Listening is not about staying silent—it’s about staying curious.

When you slow down enough to hear what’s beneath the words, you lead with real insight, not guesswork.

The leaders who listen best, lead best.

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