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The truth about being “nice” at work
Being liked isn’t the same as being respected...
Justin Mecham
July 28, 2025
Hey Full Potential Zoners,
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Nice makes people feel better— kind helps people do better.
Sometimes it’s easier to stay quiet and make everyone happy.
But kindness isn’t about comfort, it’s about being honest and brave.
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Use my sheet to stop being nice, and start being kind.
Nice is about approval.
Kind is about truth.
One fades fast.
The other stays with people.
Today we are going to help leaders master this by using:
‘Kind vs Nice - Nice Is Easy, Kind Is Right'.
Let’s dive in!
Download This PDF + my Top 60+ Cheat Sheets At Bottom of Email
4 Quick Scenarios That Build Real Trust
1. The Overlong Team Stand-up
Scenario: Morning stand-ups are dragging—people lose focus, but no one says anything because they don’t want to upset others.
Nice:
You smile, let it drag on, and silently resent the wasted time.
Kind:
You respect everyone’s time and help the team stay sharp, even if it feels slightly uncomfortable at first.
Say:
“Let’s try keeping updates to 2 minutes today. I’ll go first and time myself. I know we all have packed mornings, so this will keep us focused.”
You’re not avoiding tension; you’re protecting everyone’s time with respect and clarity.
Scenario: A teammate hints they want a promotion but hasn’t asked directly.
Nice:
You nod, say “You’re doing great!” and leave it vague so you don’t disappoint them.
Kind:
You create a clear, honest conversation—even if it means revealing they’re not quite ready yet.
Say:
“I remember you mentioned wanting to step up. Let’s talk next week about where you’re strong and what skills we can grow to make that possible. I also have one project in mind that can help you get there.”
You’re not giving false hope—you’re giving a real path forward.
3. The Unspoken Process Gap
Scenario: A recurring mistake in the process keeps happening, but everyone ignores it to “keep the peace.”
Nice:
You stay quiet so no one feels called out.
Kind:
You bring it up calmly and work with someone to fix it.
Say:
“I’ve noticed we’re missing steps in the marketing processes lately. I don’t want it to cause bigger issues, so let’s map it out and see if there’s a fix we can test next week.”
You’re protecting the team from bigger problems later, even if it’s awkward now.
4. The Team Low Morale Dip
Scenario: After a big setback, everyone says they’re “fine,” but they look drained.
Nice:
You gloss over it with, “We’ll bounce back!” and move on.
Kind:
You acknowledge the tough moment and create space for honest feelings.
Say:
“Quick mood check—one word for how you’re feeling today. Thanks for being honest. I know it’s heavy right now. Let’s aim for just one small win before we meet again. What’s a good target?”
You’re not sugarcoating; you’re showing empathy and giving the team a way to move forward together.
Download this infographic at the end of this section
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Here's how you can make it real today:
Step 1: Pick your focus for the day
Choose one Kind vs Nice lesson you want to work on today—like setting clear time in meetings, opening a career chat, calmly addressing a process gap, or lifting morale after a tough day.
Step 2: Set a timer at the start of the day
When you arrive, set a reminder on your phone or calendar for mid-morning or mid-afternoon.
This will be your kindness moment alert—a pause to act intentionally.
Step 3: Do one small action when it goes off
Take 2 minutes to make a small kind move toward your chosen focus:
Suggest a time-saving tweak in a meeting.
Invite someone for a career chat: “Want to talk about your goals for 10 min?”
Map a quick fix for a recurring process slip.
Ask, “How’s everyone feeling today—one word?”
Step 4: Note your energy level afterward
After the action, give yourself a quick 1–10 rating—how do you feel mentally and emotionally?
Did it feel awkward, lighter, or relieving?
Step 5: Reflect for 1 minute before end of day
Ask yourself:
Did this small step matter today?
What felt good or uncomfortable?
Would I repeat it or tweak it next time?
AI Prompt: “Act as a session facilitator. Create a quick 2‑minute check-in for today’s stand-up with these details:
Team Name: [Insert team name]
Purpose: Keep updates clear and respect everyone’s time
Focus: 2‑minute limit per person + quick blocker check
Provide:
A simple outline: opening, main prompts, and closing
Sample phrases like, “Let’s keep it tight today—2 minutes each, then name any blockers.”
Quick tips to stay kind but firm, like using a friendly reminder if someone runs long”
Choosing kindness means doing what feels hard—but what matters most.
It’s stepping into discomfort to protect someone’s time, goals, or feelings.
It’s saying “Let’s fix this” instead of “Let’s not rock the boat.”
It’s okay if it feels awkward—that means it matters.
It shows others you trust them enough to be honest.
That’s the difference between working together—and working well together.
Until next time and with lots of love,
Justin
This Week’s Growth Recommendations
Book To Read:
“The Fearless Organization” by Amy C. Edmondson (see it here)
TED Talk to Watch:
“The Problem With Being ‘Too Nice’ at Work”" by Tessa West (see it here)
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