How to Stop Taking Things Personally

Author

Justin Mecham
August 26, 2024

In partnership with

Hey Full Potential Zoners!

No one can hurt you without your permission.

In a world where words can easily hurt us, we often take things too personally.

This leads to:

➜ Stress

➜ Self-doubt

➜ Unnecessary conflicts.

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When we let others' opinions affect us, we give them control over our happiness.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

You can learn to keep your peace and protect your power.

Words are just words.

Your response is what gives them meaning.

Today we are going to help leaders master this by using:

‘How to Take Nothing Personally'. 

Let’s dive in!

6 Additional Powerful Ways to Keep Your Peace

  1. Deep Breathing

    • When stress rises, take a moment to focus on your breath.

    • Inhale deeply through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and exhale slowly through your mouth.

    • Repeat until you feel calm.

  2. Time-Out

    • Take a step back.

    • When emotions run high, give yourself a quick time-out.

    • Step away from the situation to clear your mind.

    • Use the break to cool down and return with a clear perspective.

  3. Physical Movement

    • Move your body.

    • A short walk, stretch, or any physical activity can release built-up tension and refocus your energy.

  4. Positive Self-Talk

    • Speak kindly to yourself.

    • Replace negative thoughts with encouraging words.

    • Remind yourself of your strengths and past successes.

  5. Disconnect

    • Step away from situations, people, or devices that are draining your energy.

    • Disconnecting helps you regain control.

    • Use the quiet time to reconnect with your inner peace.

  6. Simplify

    • Find peace in simplicity.

    • Simplify your environment or your tasks.

    • Focus on what truly matters and let go of unnecessary clutter.

Gratitude Practice

A team I was hired to help was struggling with low morale and high stress.

Deadlines were tight, and everyone felt unappreciated and overworked.

The negative atmosphere was leading to more mistakes and a lack of motivation.

They seemed to be focusing only on what was going wrong—missed deadlines, errors, and the overwhelming workload.

This constant negativity was draining their energy and preventing them from seeing the progress they were making.

The stress was creating a cycle where the harder they worked, the more mistakes they made, leading to even more stress.

I decided to implement a Gratitude Practice to shift the focus from what was going wrong to what was going right.

Here’s how I did it:

Daily Gratitude Check-Ins

Every morning, during their brief team huddle, I had the leaders ask each person to share one thing they were grateful for, either at work or in their personal lives.

This helped set a positive tone for the day and reminded everyone that there were still good things happening, even in the midst of stress.

Thank You Notes

I started having the leaders write short, personal thank you notes to team members who had gone the extra mile or simply done their job well.

I encouraged them to do the same for each other.

These notes didn’t take much time, but they had a big impact, making people feel valued and recognized.

Highlighting Small Wins

I made it a point for leaders to celebrate even small successes, like completing a challenging task or meeting a minor deadline.

This helped the team see that their hard work was paying off and that progress was being made.

Result

Over a few weeks, we noticed a significant improvement in the team’s morale.

They were more engaged, errors decreased, and communication improved.

By focusing on gratitude, the team started to see the positive aspects of their work and each other.

Here's how you can make it real over the next 4 days:

Day 1: Awareness

  • Choose one of the 12 lessons you want to work on this week.

  • Take a moment today to reflect on why you chose this lesson.

  • Write down what you hope to achieve by focusing on this practice.

    • Understanding your "why" is the first step to making real progress.

  • Keep this note somewhere visible to remind yourself throughout the day.

  • ChatGPT Prompt to Help: "Help me reflect on why I chose to focus on [insert lesson, e.g., Gratitude Practice]. I want to understand what I hope to achieve by working on this and how it could positively impact my life. Guide me through some key questions or thoughts to consider.”

Day 2: Action

  • Set a small, specific goal related to your chosen lesson.

    • For example, if you chose "Healthy Boundaries," your goal could be to say "no" to one non-essential request today.

    • If you chose "Gratitude Practice," it could be to thank someone who helped you recently.

  • Make sure your goal is achievable and not too overwhelming. Small steps lead to big changes.

  • ChatGPT Prompt to Help: "Suggest a small, specific goal I can set today to practice [insert lesson, e.g., Healthy Boundaries]. I want this goal to be simple and achievable. Also, provide tips on how I can follow through with this goal during my day."

Day 3: Reflection

  • At the end of the day, reflect on how your practice went.

    • Did you meet your goal? How did it make you feel?

    • What did you learn from the experience?

      • Write down your thoughts.

  • Be honest with yourself.

    • If something didn't go as planned, note it without judgment and think about how you can adjust tomorrow.

  • ChatGPT Prompt to Help: "Help me reflect on how my practice of [insert lesson, e.g., Gratitude Practice] went today. I want to consider what worked well, what didn’t, and how I felt during the process. Guide me through a reflection exercise that will help me learn from today’s experience."

Day 4: Build on It

  • Today, build on what you’ve done over the past three days.

    • If your goal was to practice gratitude, think of an additional way to express it, like writing a thank-you email to a colleague.

    • If you focused on mindfulness, try adding a few more minutes to your practice.

  • Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Every bit counts.

  • ChatGPT Prompt to Help: "Guide me in building on the progress I’ve made with [insert lesson, e.g., Mindful Detachment]. I want to set a slightly more challenging goal today or add to what I’ve already done. How can I keep this momentum going and deepen my practice?"

When you stop taking things personally, you gain control over your emotional well-being.

You begin to see that not everything said or done by others is a reflection of you.

This understanding gives you the strength to face challenges with a calm mind and an open heart.

It also allows you to navigate difficult interactions with grace, knowing that your worth is not tied to the judgments of others.

This is where real personal power begins.

Until next week and with lots of love,

Justin

This Week’s Growth Recommendations

Book To Read:  

"The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz (see it here)

TED Talk to Watch

"How Not to Take Things Personally?" by Frederik Imbo (see it here)

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