I stopped trying to be liked at work

Hey friends,

I stopped trying to be liked at work years ago.

It changed how people treated me. Why?

Because approval feels good.

But respect changes everything.

I was chasing comfort.

What I needed was trust.

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Being nice feels safe. Being kind takes courage.

Nice keeps the room calm. Kind keeps the work honest.

Nice protects comfort. Kind protects values.

Nice gets applause. Kind earns trust.

Today we are going to help you master this by using:

‘Kind vs Nice - Nice Is Easy, Kind Is Right'.

Let’s dive in!

Download This PDF + my Top 90+ Cheat Sheets At Bottom of Email

4 Workplace Situations Where Kindness Beats Being Nice

1. When Someone Brings You Low Quality Work

Scenario: A coworker sends you a report that clearly isn’t good enough, but they seem proud of it.

Start by recognizing effort, not approving the work.
- Example: I can see you put time into this.
Name the issue clearly so they understand the gap.
- Example: The data section isn’t strong enough yet for leadership.
Explain exactly what improvement looks like.
- Example: Add two customer examples and tighten the summary.
Focus on progress, not embarrassment.
- The goal is to help them improve, not make them feel small.
End with confidence in their ability.
- Example: Once those changes are in, this will land much better.

2. When a Meeting Is Going in the Wrong Direction

Scenario: Your team is about to approve a plan that you know will likely fail.

Speak up early before the decision is locked in.
- Waiting usually makes the conversation harder later.
Pause the room respectfully.
- Example: Can I pause us for a moment?
Talk about the outcome, not the person.
- Example: I’m concerned the timeline might be too tight.
Offer a simple alternative.
- Example: What if we launch with the core features first?
Invite discussion instead of forcing agreement.
- Example: What do you all think about that option?

3. When Someone Keeps Asking You to Do Their Work

Scenario: A coworker regularly asks you to handle tasks that are clearly their responsibility.

Acknowledge the request so they feel heard.
- Example: I understand you’re trying to move this forward.
Set a clear boundary without apology.
- Example: I won’t be able to take that on.
Offer guidance instead of doing the work for them.
- Example: I can show you how I usually approach it.
Keep your tone calm and neutral.
- You are setting a boundary, not starting an argument.
Repeat the boundary if the pattern continues.
- Consistency is what makes boundaries work.

4. When Someone Is Being Disrespectful in a Meeting

Scenario: A colleague interrupts people or shuts down ideas during discussions.

Step in calmly when it happens.
- Example: Hold on, I want to hear her finish.
Reset the tone for the whole room.
- Example: Let’s give each idea a full minute before reacting.
Support the person who was interrupted.
- Example: Go ahead, I think you had another point.
Address the pattern privately afterward.
- Example: In meetings, it helps when everyone gets space to speak.
Focus on the team standard, not personal criticism.
- This keeps the conversation productive.

1. The Office Expert

Scenario: Maria works in marketing. Her coworkers always ask her how she writes better LinkedIn posts.

Instead of answering the same questions every week, she turns that skill into a small starter guide.
She writes down the five questions people ask her most and turns them into short lessons.
She records quick 10-minute videos and shares them with a small group first.
After the test group finishes, she adds one new lesson based on their biggest question.
Now she has a simple guide that solves a real problem people already asked her about.

2. The “Weekend Skill” Guide

Scenario: David is great at finding cheap flights and using travel points. Friends always ask him how he does it.

So he builds a 7-day guide that walks people through planning their first cheap trip.
Each day has one clear task, like finding flight deals or setting up travel alerts.
After each lesson he asks one simple question: “What part was hardest today?”
The answers show him what people still struggle with.
Those questions later turn into extra checklists and short guides people are happy to pay for.

3. The Fastest Way to Launch

Scenario: A designer wants to teach beginners how to create simple social media graphics.

Instead of building a big course, she tests a 1-week starter guide with a small group.
She goes to creatyl.com and uploads five short lessons and a few simple PDFs.
She shares the page with 15 early spots to test the guide.
While people go through it, she watches what lessons get the most questions.
After the guide ends, she improves the best lessons and turns it into a guide people can buy anytime.
What started as a simple test becomes a real digital product.

Want to read more? Go here to download the infographic.

Here's how you can make it real today:

Step 1: Pick your focus

Think about a moment at work where you usually stay quiet to keep things smooth.
Choose one moment today where you want to respond differently.
That situation is your focus for today.

Step 2: Choose your moment

Before the day gets busy, decide when you’ll practice this.
Look for a moment like:
- A team meeting
- A work message or email
- A request from a coworker
- A quick conversation during the day
Set a small reminder in your mind:
- “When this moment happens, I will choose kind over nice.”

Step 3: Take honest action

When the moment appears, do one clear and respectful action.
Keep your tone calm and direct.
Kindness is truth with respect.

Step 4: Notice what happened

After the moment passes, pause for a minute and ask:
- Did the conversation become clearer?
- Did someone respond in a better way than expected?
- Did the issue move forward instead of staying hidden?

Step 5: End the day with one sentence

Before the day ends, write one short line:
- “Today I chose kind over nice when I ______.”
or
- “Next time I will speak up sooner when ______.”

AI Prompt: “Act as a workplace communication coach. Help me prepare for a moment today where I want to choose kind over nice at work. Guide me so I can say the honest thing clearly and respectfully instead of avoiding the issue.

Situation I want help with: [Describe the moment. Example: “My coworker asked me to take on a task that is really their responsibility.”]
People involved: [Insert who is involved. Example: coworker, manager, team member]
What usually happens: [Describe how you normally respond. Example: I say yes even though I feel overloaded.]
What I want to do instead: [Example: Set a clear boundary, speak honestly in a meeting, or give direct feedback.]
Goal of the conversation: [Example: Keep respect, be clear about expectations, and move the work forward.]

Provide:

A short plan for how I should handle the moment, including what to do before, during, and after the conversation.
3–5 simple phrases I can say that are honest, calm, and respectful.
One sentence I can use if the conversation becomes uncomfortable or tense.
One small reminder to help me stay calm and confident in the moment.
A short reflection question I can ask myself after the moment to learn from it.”