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The Essential Skill You’re Missing
Justin Mecham
May 13, 2024
Sponsored by
Hey Full Potential Zoners!
Many professionals focus solely on technical skills.
And unfortunately, they overlook emotional intelligence.
Here's why that's a problem:
Emotional intelligence isn't just about being agreeable.
✺ It's about being insightful.
✺ It's about making deep connections.
✺ It's about navigating workplace challenges effectively.
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Emotional intelligence is a top 10 job skill for 2025.
(World Economic Forum)
Yet, many leaders fail to practice it.
This often leads to:
✖ High turnover
✖ Disengaged teams
What can you do about it?
Today we are going to help leaders master this by using:
‘What Emotional Intelligence Is and Is Not'.
Let’s dive in!
Emotional Intelligence Is
Self-Awareness
What it is: Recognizing and understanding your own emotions and reactions.
Why it is important: Self-awareness helps you understand how your feelings affect your thoughts and behaviors, enabling better control.
Actionable steps: Keep a journal to track your emotions and triggers. Reflect daily on your feelings and the reasons behind them.
Empathy
What it is: The ability to understand and share the feelings of others.
Why it is important: Empathy fosters connection and trust, crucial for effective communication and relationships.
Actionable steps: Practice active listening and ask open-ended questions to better understand others' perspectives.
Active Listening
What it is: Fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and then remembering what is being said.
Why it is important: Ensures accurate information exchange and shows respect for the speaker’s viewpoints.
Actionable steps: Focus solely on the speaker, avoid interrupting, and repeat back what you understand to confirm clarity.
Adaptability
What it is: The ability to adjust your emotions and actions according to changing situations.
Why it is important: Being adaptable allows for better handling of uncertainties and new challenges.
Actionable steps: Stay open to new ideas and changes in your environment. Practice flexibility in your plans and expectations.
Compassion
What it is: Showing genuine concern and kindness to others.
Why it is important: Builds positive team and personal dynamics, and can defuse conflicts.
Actionable steps: Regularly check in on others' well-being and offer help when needed.
Thoughtful Response
What it is: Considering your words and actions carefully before responding.
Why it is important: Prevents misunderstandings and promotes more meaningful exchanges.
Actionable steps: Pause before responding to assess your feelings and the situation. Choose words that reflect your true intent.
Respectful Dialogue
What it is: Engaging in conversations that respect all participants’ views and dignity.
Why it is important: Encourages open communication and prevents conflicts.
Actionable steps: Always acknowledge others’ opinions and avoid dismissive language.
Emotion Regulation
What it is: Managing your emotions to stay calm and composed.
Why it is important: Helps maintain professionalism in all situations and reduces stress.
Actionable steps: Practice deep breathing or a brief meditation before entering potentially high-emotion situations.
Authenticity
What it is: Being genuine and true in your expressions and actions.
Why it is important: Builds trust and reliability in personal and professional relationships.
Actionable steps: Align your actions with your values and beliefs. Communicate openly and honestly.
Constructive Feedback
What it is: Providing feedback that is helpful and encouraging, not critical or demeaning.
Why it is important: Aids in growth and improvement while maintaining positive relations.
Actionable steps: Focus on specific behaviors instead of personal attributes. Offer suggestions for improvement along with positive reinforcement.
Empathy
I was consulting for a company on a complex project requiring cross-departmental coordination, which turned out to be unexpectedly very challenging.
Tensions rose as deadlines approached, causing a noticeable decline in communication and collaboration.
Recognizing the strain the team was under, I decided to implement a strategy for their leadership centered around empathy.
I had them arrange a series of one-on-one meetings with team members to better understand their specific challenges and stressors.
During these discussions, I had them focus on listening actively - acknowledging feelings and frustrations without judgment.
The insights gained from these meetings allowed their leadership to adjust project timelines where feasible and reallocate resources to alleviate pressure points.
I also had them facilitate a team meeting where everyone shared their concerns and offered support to their colleagues.
This not only improved morale but also fostered a more collaborative environment.
Actionable Tips:
Active Listening:
Make a genuine effort to listen without planning your response.
This shows that you value their input and understand their perspective.
Acknowledgment:
Validate team members' feelings by acknowledging the difficulties they express.
This doesn't always mean agreeing, but showing that their feelings are heard and considered.
Adjustments Based on Feedback:
Use the information gathered through empathetic interactions to make informed decisions that address the concerns of your team members.
Here's how you can make it real over the next 4 days:
Day 1: Reflective Journaling
Choose an Emotional Intelligence Is skill to work on.
Spend 10 minutes writing in a journal about your feelings and reactions to events throughout the day.
Focus on identifying what triggered your emotions and how you responded to those triggers.
ChatGPT Prompt to Help: "Today, I felt [emotion] when [event]. I believe what triggered this was [trigger]. My response was [response]. How could I have handled it better?”
Day 2: Active Listening
In every conversation today, practice active listening.
This means fully concentrating on what is being said rather than just passively hearing the speaker.
Nod affirmatively, avoid interrupting, and paraphrase back what you hear to ensure understanding.
ChatGPT Prompt to Help: "Today, I practiced active listening by [describe what you did, e.g., nodding, not interrupting, paraphrasing]. What could improve my listening skills further?"
Day 3: Express Gratitude
Write a note or verbally express your gratitude to someone who has made a positive impact on your day.
This could be a colleague, friend, or family member.
Explain specifically what they did and how it made you feel.
ChatGPT Prompt to Help: "Today, I expressed gratitude to [person's role, e.g., a colleague, a friend] by [method, e.g., writing a note, saying thank you]. I thanked them for [specific action or quality], and it made me feel [your emotion]. What more can I do to express gratitude to have a greater impact on me and my relationship with this person?"
Day 4: Self-Assessment
At the end of your day, take 10 minutes to assess how well you managed your chosen Emotional Intelligence skill.
Consider what situations went well, what didn’t, and why.
Plan how you might improve your responses or actions for similar situations in the future.
ChatGPT Prompt to Help: "Reflecting on today, I used my Emotional Intelligence skill [mention the skill] in situations [describe the situations]. I handled [situation] well because [reason]. I struggled with [situation] because [reason]. What specific steps can I take to improve my Emotional Intelligence in challenging situations?"
Emotional Intelligence is not just about managing your own emotions.
It's about unlocking the potential to understand and improve every interaction you have.
The skills you develop through improving your Emotional Intelligence are tools that can transform challenges into opportunities for growth.
Daily reflect on how increasing your emotional intelligence can enhance your ability to lead, inspire, and connect with others around you.
Until next week and with lots of love,
Justin
This Week’s Growth Recommendations
Book To Read:
"Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" by Daniel Goleman (see it here)
TED Talk to Watch
"The Power of Emotional Intelligence" by Travis Bradberry (see it here)
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