Full Potential Zone
Posts
disrespected at work? here’s what to do

disrespected at work? here’s what to do

Justin Mecham
November 18, 2024

Hey Full Potential Zoners!

How you handle disrespect says more about you than it says about them.

Disrespect in the workplace is all too common.

Studies show that 80% of employees have experienced or witnessed disrespect at work [Workplace Bullying Institute].

First, a BIG thanks to this week’s sponsor who helps keep this newsletter free:

Start Free Trial

Resiliency is the key to your sustainable success.

Go beyond burnout and learn to live an intentional life.

Our community includes:

Access to full accelerators and courses with expert guests
Private network of peers
Online and in-person experiences
Cove Care Packages subscription box)

Brought to you by bestselling author and executive coach, Laura Nguyen, this unique community is focused on 4 core topics:

Start a 7 Day Trial Today

The first 25 members from this newsletter will receive a signed copy of the bestselling book, Career Break Compass by Laura Nguyen.

Disrespect isn’t just frustrating.

It can affect:

❌ Your motivation to show up

❌ Long-term career growth

❌ Your sense of self-worth

❌ Your work-life balance

❌ Trust in leadership

❌ Job satisfaction

❌ Mental health

❌ Productivity

Today we are going to help leaders master this by using:

‘How to Handle Disrespect - Stay Calm, Stay In Control'.

Let’s dive in!

Download PDF at Bottom of Email

How to Apply The Respect Response Model

Defuse the Situation

Scenario: A colleague publicly criticizes your work in a meeting, using a harsh tone.
What to Do: Stay calm, breathe, and respond with a neutral tone to de-escalate. Avoid matching their tone or reacting defensively.
What to Say: “I hear your concerns, and I’d like to discuss this further. Let’s talk after the meeting to address it calmly.”
- Why This Works: It redirects the conversation to a private setting where emotions are less likely to escalate, maintaining professionalism.

Acknowledge Their Words

Scenario: A manager interrupts you mid-sentence and dismisses your idea without explanation.
What to Do: Acknowledge their interruption without validating their dismissiveness. Then steer the conversation back respectfully.
What to Say: “I understand you’re sharing your thoughts, and I’d like to finish my point to provide clarity.”
- Why This Works: It acknowledges their input while affirming your right to be heard, showing confidence without escalating tension.

Set Clear Boundaries

Scenario: A colleague repeatedly makes sarcastic remarks about your abilities in front of others.
What to Do: Address them privately and firmly state what behavior is unacceptable. Be clear and professional.
What to Say: “I noticed your comments during meetings have been sarcastic. I want to work in an environment where we respect each other, and I’d appreciate it if we keep our feedback constructive.”
- Why This Works: It identifies the behavior, sets a boundary, and gives them a clear expectation moving forward.

Shift Focus, Stay Calm

Scenario: A coworker blames you for an issue in a project that wasn’t your responsibility.
What to Do: Avoid getting stuck in the blame game. Refocus the conversation on solving the problem rather than assigning fault.
What to Say: “Let’s figure out how to address this issue and prevent it moving forward. I’m happy to help clarify where responsibilities might overlap.”
- Why This Works: It moves the conversation away from blame and toward collaboration, keeping the workplace dynamic productive.

Stay Calm & Confident

A team I was consulting for experienced tension during a project update meeting.

One team member openly criticized another for missing a deadline, using a harsh and accusatory tone.

This caused visible discomfort in the group and risked escalating into a larger conflict.

I stepped in to defuse the situation - here’s how I addressed it step by step:

Pause and Acknowledge

I calmly interrupted and said, “Let’s take a moment to pause. I can see this is an important issue, and I want us to address it constructively.”

Tip: A calm and neutral tone can immediately reduce tension and set the tone for a productive discussion.

Redirect the Focus

I shifted the focus away from personal blame to the issue at hand by asking, “What can we do as a team to ensure this doesn’t happen again? Let’s focus on solutions.”

Tip: Redirecting to problem-solving helps keep emotions in check and brings the conversation back to teamwork.

Encourage Calm Communication

I encouraged both parties to explain their perspectives using respectful language. I said, “Let’s hear each other out calmly so we can move forward as a team.”

Tip: Setting expectations for tone and behavior creates a safe environment for open dialogue.

Wrap with Solutions

After both parties shared their views, I summarized and suggested actionable next steps. I said, “Going forward, let’s establish clearer timelines and check-ins to ensure we’re aligned.”

The immediate tension was diffused, and the conversation shifted to a constructive discussion.

Both individuals felt heard, and the team agreed on practical steps to prevent similar issues in the future.

Here's how you can make it real over the next 4 days:

Day 1: Identify Your Trigger

Choose the Respect Response Model lesson you want to work on.
- Reflect on recent interactions and identify a situation where you felt disrespected or uncomfortable.
- Write down what happened, how you felt, and which Respect Response Model lesson (e.g., Defuse the Situation, Set Clear Boundaries) would have helped.
  - Example: If someone interrupted you repeatedly in a meeting, you might choose “Set Clear Boundaries.”
- Be specific about the situation to make the lesson easier to apply.
ChatGPT Prompt to Help: "Help me reflect on a recent situation where I felt disrespected or uncomfortable at work. I want to identify what happened, how I reacted, and which Respect Response Model lesson (e.g., Defuse the Situation, Set Clear Boundaries) would have been most helpful in handling it better.”

Day 2: Practice in a Safe Setting

In a low-pressure interaction, practice applying the lesson you chose.
Focus on staying calm and using clear, respectful language.
- Example: If you’re working on “Defuse the Situation,” practice pausing before responding during a casual conversation.
Choose an interaction where the stakes are low to build confidence with the technique.
ChatGPT Prompt to Help: "How can I practice [insert chosen lesson, like 'Defuse the Situation' or 'Acknowledge Their Words'] in a low-pressure setting today? Give me a specific example of what to focus on in a casual interaction."

Day 3: Apply It in a Real Situation

Use the chosen lesson in a real-life workplace scenario.
Stay mindful of your tone, words, and body language.
- Example: If you’re working on “Acknowledge Their Words,” respond to feedback with, “I understand your perspective. Let’s explore how we can move forward.”
Keep your focus on remaining calm and professional, even if emotions are high.
ChatGPT Prompt to Help: "Give me practical tips to apply [insert chosen lesson] in a real workplace situation today. How can I stay calm, use clear language, and handle the situation professionally?"

Day 4: Reflect and Adjust

Take 5 minutes to reflect on how applying the lesson worked in the real situation.
Write down what went well, what didn’t, and how you’ll adjust for future interactions.
- Example: If “Shift Focus, Stay Calm” helped you avoid escalating a conflict, note how it made you feel more in control.
Use this reflection to reinforce what you’ve learned and plan how to continue applying the lesson.
ChatGPT Prompt to Help: "Help me reflect on how I applied [insert chosen lesson] in a real situation. What questions should I ask myself to evaluate what worked, what didn’t, and how I can improve in future interactions?"

Disrespect can feel personal, but how you respond defines the outcome.

Staying calm keeps the control in your hands and shows true professionalism.

Anger or retaliation only feeds the conflict, while calmness disarms it.

Every calm response is a choice to rise above and focus on the bigger picture.

Control over your reaction is the greatest strength you can have.

Respect is a two-way path, but it starts with you.

Until next week and with lots of love,

Justin

This Week’s Growth Recommendations

Book To Read:

"Difficult Conversations" by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen (see it here)

TED Talk to Watch

"How to stay calm when you know you'll be stressed" by Daniel Levitin (see it here)

Create Designs Just Like Mine

I have spent months putting together the greatest online course for creating infographics just like mine!

Check out these results from people taking the course!