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15 Ways to Stop Holding Yourself Back

15 Ways to Stop Holding Yourself Back

How to let go of the negativity that blocks your potential...

Justin Mecham
January 20, 2025

Hey Full Potential Zoners!

The biggest barrier to growth?

You.

Most negativity isn’t external - it’s internal.

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And it’s holding you back.

Each one chips away at your progress.

Today we are going to help leaders master this by using:

‘15 Types of Negativity to Stop'.

Let’s dive in!

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Remedies for Each One

Perfectionism
Focus on progress, not perfection, by setting realistic goals with flexible outcomes.
Self-Doubt
Write down one recent success daily to remind yourself of your capabilities and build confidence.
Judgment
Replace judgment with curiosity—ask yourself, “What can I learn from this person or situation?”
Worry
Take one immediate action toward solving the problem or list reasons why it’s out of your control.
Living in the Past
Shift your focus to the present by identifying one thing you’re grateful for today.
Holding Grudges
Write a letter expressing your feelings (but don’t send it)—release the weight and move forward.
Overcontrolling
Delegate one small task today to someone you trust and allow them to manage it their way.
Blaming Others
Reflect on your role in the situation and identify one way to take ownership and move forward.
Assuming the Worst
Challenge your assumption by asking, “What’s the best-case scenario here?”
Comparing
Limit social media use for one day and focus on your unique strengths instead.
Procrastination
Start with a two-minute task to build momentum and overcome the initial resistance.
Fear of Failure
Break one big goal into smaller, risk-free steps and focus on completing the first one today.
Overthinking
Set a five-minute timer to brainstorm solutions, then stop and pick one to act on.
Complaining
List three things that went well today and focus your energy on appreciating them.
Negative Self-Talk
Replace each negative thought with one positive affirmation about your strengths.

Comparing

I don’t talk about my personal life much, so please bear with me as I get real with you about something I used to struggle with.

Years ago I was working in a leadership role, but I often found myself comparing my achievements to those of a colleague who always seemed ahead—better results, more recognition, and faster promotions.

This constant comparison drained my confidence, distracted me from my own work, and made me question if I was good enough for my role.

It was starting to impact my performance and even my relationships at work.

I realized this negative habit wasn’t just about my perception of my colleague—it was about my inability to value my own progress.

I decided to stop the comparison spiral with a clear, step-by-step plan:

Shift Focus Back to My Goals
- I wrote down my personal and professional goals and reminded myself of what mattered most to me, not anyone else.
- I broke these goals into weekly, actionable steps that aligned with my values and strengths.
Each morning, I started my day by reviewing my goals and asking, "What can I do today to make progress on my own terms?"

Acknowledge My Strengths
- I listed my unique skills and contributions that I knew added value to the team and organization.
- For every project, I reflected on what I did well and how my skills moved the needle.
After finishing tasks, I paused to write down one thing I did well instead of dwelling on what others might have done differently.
Celebrate My Progress
- I tracked milestones, no matter how small, and acknowledged them as wins.
- I set time to reward myself for reaching key achievements, like completing a challenging project.
I kept a "wins list" to remind myself how far I’d come and reviewed it every week.
Find Inspiration Instead of Comparison
- Instead of viewing my colleague’s success as a threat, I asked questions to learn from their strategies.
- This shifted my mindset from competition to curiosity and helped me uncover new ways to improve my own work.
I had a conversation with the colleague to ask about their workflow and adopted a few ideas that aligned with my own style.

My confidence returned, my productivity improved, and I built better relationships at work—including with the colleague I had once viewed as a competitor.

I learned that comparing to others doesn’t serve progress—valuing your own journey does.

Here's how you can make it real over the next 4 days:

Day 1: Identify the Root Cause

Decide which one of the 15 types of negativity you want to work on.
Spend 10 minutes reflecting on what triggers this negativity.
Write down when it tends to show up, what situations or people are involved, and how it makes you feel.
Understand what’s fueling this negativity so you can address it at its source.
AI Prompt to Help:
- Act as a self-reflection coach. Help me identify the root cause of a negative habit I want to work on.
  Here are the details you will need for this task:
  - The negative habit I want to focus on is: [Insert habit, e.g., "comparing myself to others"].
  - Situations where this habit shows up: [Describe specific scenarios or triggers, e.g., "when I scroll social media or hear about others' successes"].
  - How it makes me feel: [Insert emotions, e.g., "inadequate, frustrated"].
  Provide:
  - A series of questions to help me uncover why this habit occurs.
  - Steps I can take to pinpoint the specific triggers for this habit.
  - Simple tips for increasing awareness when this habit arises.

Day 2: Reframe Your Perspective

Write down three specific ways you could reframe the negativity.
For example:
- If you often compare yourself to others, focus on your unique strengths.
- If procrastination is the issue, break the task into one tiny action to start.
Train your mind to shift from a negative focus to a productive or empowering one.
AI Prompt to Help:
- Act as a mindset coach. Help me reframe a negative habit into a more productive perspective.
  Here are the details you will need for this task:
  - The negative habit I’m working on is: [Insert habit, e.g., "overthinking decisions"].
  - The emotions this habit brings: [Insert emotions, e.g., "anxiety, indecision"].
  - One specific scenario where this happens: [Describe the situation, e.g., "when I need to give feedback to my team"].
  Provide:
  - Three ways to reframe this habit into a positive or neutral mindset.
  - Short affirmations I can use when I notice this habit.
  - Practical actions to shift focus when this negativity shows up.

Day 3: Take One Specific Action

Take one concrete action to reduce the negativity.
Examples:
- Set a boundary if you struggle with overcontrolling.
- Acknowledge and let go of a grudge by writing an email or note to yourself about forgiveness.
Build momentum by addressing the negativity head-on with a clear step forward.
AI Prompt to Help:
- Act as a personal development guide. Help me take one specific action to address a negative habit effectively.
  Here are the details you will need for this task:
  - The negative habit I am working on is: [Insert habit, e.g., "procrastination"].
  - One small action I think I could take to improve: [Insert action, e.g., "start with a 5-minute task"].
  - The challenges I might face when doing this: [Insert challenges, e.g., "I might feel overwhelmed or unsure where to start"].
  Provide:
  - A step-by-step guide to complete the action successfully.
  - Suggestions for overcoming the challenges I mentioned.
  - A simple tip to stay motivated while completing the action.

Day 4: Reflect and Plan Ahead

Reflect on what you learned in the past three days.
Ask yourself:
- What worked well to address this negativity?
- How did I feel after taking action?
- What’s one thing I can do weekly to keep improving?
Write down a short plan to keep the progress going.
Ensure this is not just a one-time effort but a lasting change.
AI Prompt to Help:
- Act as a reflection coach. Help me reflect on my progress and create a plan to continue improving a negative habit.
  Here are the details you will need for this task:
  - The negative habit I worked on this week: [Insert habit, e.g., "negative self-talk"].
  - The actions I took to improve: [Describe actions, e.g., "writing daily affirmations and stopping myself when negative thoughts appeared"].
  - What went well: [Describe successes, e.g., "I felt more confident after practicing positive self-talk"].
  - What was challenging: [Describe difficulties, e.g., "I sometimes reverted to negativity when stressed"].
  Provide:
  - A reflection template to assess what worked and what didn’t.
  - Suggestions for small, weekly actions I can take to keep improving.
  - Encouragement for maintaining consistency without feeling pressured.

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The goal isn’t perfection. It’s progress.

Each time you let go of negativity, you take back control:

Of your energy. Of your focus. Of your future.

The loudest critic in your life is you.

Time to quiet it.

Until next time and with lots of love,

Justin

This Week’s Growth Recommendations

Book To Read:

"The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale (see it here)

TED Talk to Watch

"Getting Stuck in the Negatives" by Alison Ledgerwood (see it here)