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- #1 Skill That Protects Your Mental Health Every Day
#1 Skill That Protects Your Mental Health Every Day
Turn emotional triggers into opportunities for growth...
Justin Mecham
January 27, 2025
Hey Full Potential Zoners!
Your value isn’t decided by someone else’s view.
Not everything is about you.
But it’s easy to feel like it is.
Criticism, rejection, or conflict can hit hard.
Unless you learn how to protect your peace.
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Protecting your peace isn’t about ignoring problems.
It’s about responding with clarity and confidence.
When you stop taking things personally, you free yourself where you feel:
Free to grow.
Free to connect.
Free to focus on what really matters.
Today we are going to help leaders master this by using:
‘Protect Your Peace - How to Stop Taking Things Personally'.
Let’s dive in!
Download This PDF + My Top 24 Cheat Sheets From 2024 At Bottom of Email
7 Scenarios You Can Get Right Every Time
1: Receiving Harsh Feedback in a Meeting
What to Do:
Pause and take a moment to breathe before responding. Ask yourself if the feedback is constructive or reflects someone else's stress or bias.
Separate the feedback from your worth. Focus on actionable points rather than the tone in which they were delivered.
What to Say:
"Thank you for sharing that. Can we go over specific examples so I can understand better?"
"I’d like to reflect on this and come back with thoughts on how to address it."
2: Being Rejected for a Project Idea
What to Do:
Reframe rejection as an opportunity to refine your idea or learn about the team's priorities.
Seek clarity by asking why the decision was made and how future ideas can better align with goals.
What to Say:
"Can you help me understand what changes could make this idea more aligned with our goals?"
"Thanks for the feedback. I’d like to explore ways to improve this concept for the future."
3: Feeling Excluded from Team Decisions
What to Do:
Communicate your feelings without assigning blame. Focus on asking how you can contribute moving forward.
Adjust your perspective by recognizing that decisions might not always be personal but rather process-driven.
What to Say:
"I noticed I wasn’t included in the planning. Is there a way I can add value to the process moving forward?"
"I’d love to support the team. What’s the best way to stay informed on decisions?"
4: Dealing with a Passive-Aggressive Colleague
What to Do:
Avoid taking their behavior personally. Pause to evaluate if their actions stem from stress or unrelated issues.
Communicate directly by addressing specific behaviors and asking for clarity.
What to Say:
"I sensed tension earlier. Is there something you’d like to discuss?"
"I want us to collaborate effectively. Can we talk about what’s been going on?"
5: Conflict During a Team Brainstorming Session
What to Do:
Stay calm and ask questions to clarify any misunderstandings. Reframe assumptions about intentions.
Focus on the shared goal rather than personal frustrations or disagreements.
What to Say:
"I think we may have misunderstood each other. Can we revisit this to ensure we’re on the same page?"
"Let’s align on the outcomes we’re both aiming for and how we can best get there."
6: A Manager Criticizing in Front of Others
What to Do:
Pause and acknowledge the criticism without reacting emotionally. Request a private conversation to address it further.
Use the conversation to clarify expectations and set boundaries for future feedback delivery.
What to Say:
"I appreciate the feedback and would like to discuss this one-on-one to better understand your expectations."
"For future discussions, could we address concerns in a private setting? I believe it will help me respond more effectively."
7: Overhearing Negative Comments About Your Work
What to Do:
Avoid jumping to conclusions about the intent behind the comments. Separate emotion from fact.
Communicate calmly and seek clarification if the comments affect your performance or team dynamics.
What to Say:
"I overheard a comment about my work. Could we clarify any concerns so I can address them effectively?"
"If there’s feedback about my performance, I’d appreciate hearing it directly so I can make improvements."
Ask for Clarification
A team I was consulting with in a mid-sized company was struggling with tension during weekly meetings.
One member frequently interpreted a manager’s comments as criticism of their work, creating defensive responses and escalating disagreements.
This miscommunication was causing delays in project decisions and lowering team morale.
I observed the dynamics during their meetings and noticed that the manager’s feedback was often unclear, leaving room for assumptions.
I guided the team to adopt a simple approach: asking for clarification before reacting.
During a follow-up meeting, I coached the team member to say, “Can you clarify what you mean by that?” instead of assuming negative intent.
For the manager, I suggested being more explicit about their feedback, such as stating, “This is about improving the process, not a reflection on your performance.”
Additionally, I facilitated a training session where team members practiced asking open-ended questions like, “Can you explain the goal behind this feedback?” or “What’s the priority you’d like me to focus on here?” This exercise showed them how seeking clarity could avoid unnecessary tension.
Within a month, team dynamics noticeably improved. The team member who previously felt criticized reported feeling more understood, and the manager appreciated the chance to explain their intent more clearly.
Team meetings became more productive as assumptions decreased. The project moved forward more smoothly because everyone felt aligned.
Here's how you can make it real over the next 4 days:
Day 1: Observe Without Reaction
Decide which one of the 5 tips/lessons to stop taking things personally you want to work on.
Throughout the day, when you encounter feedback or criticism, pause before responding.
Take a few deep breaths and let yourself process the information fully before saying or doing anything.
This helps you avoid emotional reactions and gives you a clearer perspective on the situation.
AI Prompt to Help:
Act as a mindfulness coach. Help me practice pausing before reacting to feedback or criticism. Create a simple three-step guide I can follow when I feel triggered. Make it practical and include specific wording or affirmations I can use to ground myself in the moment.
Day 2: Separate Facts From Emotion
When faced with a triggering situation, write down what actually happened (the facts) versus how it made you feel.
For example, "They disagreed with my idea" (fact) versus "I felt undervalued" (emotion).
This helps you understand the difference between what is real and what is perceived, making it easier to respond constructively.
AI Prompt to Help:
Act as a workplace coach. Help me separate facts from emotions when I feel triggered by feedback or situations at work. Provide a template I can use to write down the facts of the situation versus how it made me feel. Include examples of common workplace scenarios to make it relatable.
Day 3: Ask for Clarity
In your next conversation or meeting, if something feels unclear or off-putting, ask a clarifying question.
For example, “Can you explain what you meant by that?” or “Could you provide more context?”
This prevents assumptions and helps you focus on understanding rather than reacting.
AI Prompt to Help:
Act as a communication expert. Help me create polite and effective ways to ask for clarity when I don’t fully understand someone’s feedback or intentions. Include examples of specific questions I can ask to prevent assumptions and misunderstandings in workplace conversations.
Day 4: Reframe the Perspective
At the end of the day, reflect on any moments when you felt criticized or rejected.
Reframe the situation by asking yourself, “What might this say about the situation or their perspective rather than about me?”
Shifting the focus away from personal blame helps reduce negativity and builds resilience.
AI Prompt to Help:
Act as a mindset coach. Help me reframe negative situations so I don’t take things personally. Provide a simple step-by-step process for identifying what the situation might say about the other person’s perspective or the context, rather than about me. Include tips for staying objective.
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True peace comes from understanding that not everything is about you.
Feedback often reflects someone else’s needs, not your flaws.
Miscommunication is a chance to clarify, not an attack on your worth.
Your value is never defined by a single moment or opinion.
Protecting your peace begins with separating fact from emotion.
Your peace is your power - don’t give it away.
Until next time and with lots of love,
Justin
This Week’s Growth Recommendations
Book To Read:
"The Courage to Be Disliked" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga (see it here)
TED Talk to Watch
"How Not to Take Things Personally" by Frederik Imbo (see it here)
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